Free Wheeling

         

I don’t know how long I’ve been coming to this beautiful spot on the Cedar River to meditate and do ceremony, but it was from before the pandemic. In that time I’ve felt called to build stone Medicine Wheels in this sacred space. Before the recent floods I’d had one that was here for a longtime, before the river covered it over with sand. It’s still gratifying to me to think of this subterranean Medicine Wheel here, holding sacred space and blessing anyone who passes by this spot. 

Then, not long ago, I felt prompted to build another, so I gathered stones from the immediate area, arranged them appropriately, then blessed the circle with a sacred pipe ceremony and sprinkled tobacco around the circumference and then an extra pinch on the center, Spirit, stone. (First 3 photos)

When I returned a couple days later I was aghast to see the wheel gone - Not just disassembled. The original stones were no where to be seen. I was pissed - At the ignorance of people who don’t recognize the sacredness of certain things whether they fall within the confines of their beliefs or not, and at the compulsion some people have to tear down anything that was created by someone else. 

I calmed myself, forgave whoever did this for whatever reasons they had, and chose to view it as a Sand Mandala, like the ones Buddhist monks create, whose purpose is not the length of time it exists, but the beauty it brings into the world for however long it does exist. 

Of course I set about building a new one. A bigger one. A better one. “We can rebuild it! We have the technology!” I walked the edge of the river in the immediately vicinity, finding the rocks that called out to be part of this magick. I assembled them in place, aligned to the compass points. Then I did sacred pipe ceremony again, blowing a smoke blessing to every stone in turn, starting in the East where the sun rises, thanking it for being a part of the wheel, and ending on the center Spirit Stone upon which I rested the bowl of my pipe while I said a prayer to the spirits of this place, offering gratitude for allowing me to do my sacred work here. I finished by again sprinkling tobacco around the edge of the circle and placing a pinch on top of the Spirit Stone. 

 

As I looked up from the wheel I grinned, though mine paled in comparison to the grin of the 'Cheshire Moon' beaming in the sky.  With the appearance of Diana's Bow, I knew Artemis, my matron goddess, was smiling down on me and my wheel. 

I returned a couple days later, a little nervous at what I might find, but there was the Medicine Wheel fully intact. When I approached the wheel, I felt gratified to see that not only had my efforts been blessed by the goddess, but that my tobacco had been replaced by bird poop (probably Jack my little sparrow friend) and thus had been blessed and approved by the Nature Spirits as well.

     

Baptism by Faery

As long as I've been Pagan, and maybe even before, Beltane, May 1st, has been my favorite holiday along the wheel of the year. It is a time of flowering and fecundity, of joviality and whimsy, of Robin Hood and faeries. What's not to love?!

Picking up where my last post - Happy Birth-Fae - left off, this Beltane found me again at the Cedar River doing Sacred Pipe ceremony, and contemplating my ties to the Fae. I had a partially consumed pink cookie on my altar which, in honor of the Fae, I was sharing with Thomas, my crow friend. I stopped and realized that, on this day, rather than just thinking about and honoring my connection to the Fae, I should actually connect to the Fae! The power and profundity of what happened next was entirely unanticipated. 

There is a shamanic healing method related to Soul Retrieval that I offer to clients called "Faerie Doctoring" through which I have developed a rather close relationship with my 'Fae liaison' Alandria, who helps me in retrieving soul parts which, having dissociated from a person, sometimes get taken into the faerie realms in order to balance the energy between our world and theirs. Maybe it was my turn for a little Faery Doctoring? (You can read more on my work with Alandria here: (Alandria's Tree.)

With my pipe on my lap I journeyed to her tree home on the border between the lands of human and fae, and I reached out to Alandria to see if she were available. She greeted me with the usual hug then asked what brought me there at this time. I asked, as I have for numerous clients, if there were any of my soul parts still lingering in the Faery realms. She smiled and rolled her eyes as if to say, "Duh!"

She waved her small assistant, wearing a full suit of armor that looks like it was forged from a garbage can, off to retrieve the aforementioned soul part. As he gallops off on his tiny horse, I ask Alandria what she'd like in exchange. Anything passing between our two worlds requires an exchange, to maintain the energetic balance. She requested a song. She asked me to write her a song. 

As we waited for her minion to return, initial lyrics began running through my mind...

"In the heart of the emerald city there lies a hidden forest

Where everyone's a tourist

Unless you are a fae..."

Our diminutive knight returns with a ball of light and hands it to my dryad friend. "Ready?" She asks. 

I lightly return to my physical form on the beach, light my pipe, and take a big puff. I turn my pipe around with the stem pointing away from me, offering it to where I picture Alandria sitting in front of me. I exhale my breath of smoke as a prayer of thank you to her as Alandria blows my soul part into my pipe. I turn it back around and take another deep draft off my pipe, drawing the smoke and the errant soul part into my mouth. I pause a moment then blow that breath down at my heart chakra, sweeping it into my heart with my hand. Another puff, and this time I sweep the smoke up over my head into my crown chakra. 

Every healing session is different and changes can be subtle, if felt at all, or they can grow and  take root over a period of time. This one was instant. I saw and felt these energetic wings emerge from my back, out of the rear-facing place of my heart chakra. They stretched out, further than the reach of my arms, taking the shape of great dragonfly wings. 

As I admired the various prisms dancing through the gossamer filaments, I had to stop. Was that a raindrop? Yep. There's another one. I look up at the sky directly overhead - a blue sky sporting scattered white clouds. Where are those raindrops coming from?! It wasn't steady nor enough to wet the stones or sand around me. Just enough of a sprinkling to leave everything polka dotted. A sprinkling... like a benediction... or a baptism! This was the threshold of a rebirth. A reawakening and re-membering of the fae parts within me. 

As the sprinkles gradually started tapering off I looked up to see the sun still shining from across the river in front of me and realized somewhere behind me there must be a rainbow. 

...a rainbow behind me... ...like the prisms in my wings... my new wings are the rainbow! 

I lingered at the river for quite some time after that, processing and integrating what had happened, and even on returning home I found myself a little lightheaded and unable to carry on with normal plans - plans that now included writing a song for my faery friend. 

Happy Birth-Fae

As I sit in ceremony on Beltane afternoon at my beloved river, preparing to burn a pair of flower crowns left over from previous Beltane celebrations, and musing about this time of the Faeries, it occurrs to me why this is my favorite holiday of all the sabbats along the Wheel of the Year. Beltane is, in a way, my "half birthday." 

My birthday is October 20th, 11 days (there's a definite significant number) before Samhain, Hallow's Eve, when the veils between us and the realms of the dead are thinnest. Half way across the Wheel from my birthday (my half birthday) is April 20th, 11 days before Beltane, where again the veils are thinnest, but, at this time, between us and the Faery Realms. 

In the rigmarole of daily human life it's easy for me to forget about my connection to the Fae. But if you've known me from years past when the Faerieworlds festival was still happening every year, you've heard me talk about how it was my personal Christmas. It was the one place and time throughout the year were I could feel and be my absolute self. No pretenses. No image. Just my pure, unadulterated (which itself is an interesting term for this), unicorn self. It was home! 

As an ever present reminder of my Fae origins is that my last name, "Corrigan", is actually the name of a race of Faery folk, even mentioned in the writings of JRR Tolkien. Still etched in my brain is exactly where I was as a child on the playground when one of my classmate's fathers looked at me and, musingly, said, "Huh. Corrigan. That's another word for the fairies." 

So this is the one day of the year that I celebrate my Fae nature and remember how deeply those roots run. And in celebration of all this I wished to share my Birth Story, which I wrote years ago but still brings me to tears every time I read it. If you'd like to read the original blog post where I go into more of the details surrounding this story, you can find it here: "Mom, Dad, I'm Fae." 

Beneath the "actualities" of time, date, location, etc on my birth certificate, the truth of this story rings so much louder for me than the facts. Please enjoy!...

Birth Story

Once upon a time, there was a magickal pool, and around this pool sat nine sisters. At least they sat around the pool at night, combing their long, glorious hair that shimmered in the moonlight, because that was when they appeared beautiful and young. During the day they stayed out of sight for in the sunlight they had the appearance of old, wrinkled crones. This was slightly offset by their ability to change into any creature they desired.

One of the sisters, My'riad, wishing to be alone one day, assumed her favorite shape, that of a unicorn, and wandered out into the sun dappled forest. So lost in the beauty of the woods was she that, not until the snapping of a twig brought her back to the present, did she realize she was not alone.

In a single instant, she saw the arrow pointed at her, saw it loosed from it's string, saw a hand strike the bow, and watched the arrow whistle harmlessly into the under brush beside where she stood. Without thought she fled, disappearing into the trees, but, as is the habit of most curious wild creatures, she circled back around to investigate what had, just moments ago, threatened her very life. What she saw was two men, one of whom was red in the face from screaming at the other man, "Bastard! You cost me a unicorn! I could have been set up for life! How dare you interfere with my shot! If I see you again you will pay with your life!" And the man stomped, very noisily, off into the woods.

The other man stood silently for a moment, watching where the first man had gone, then without turning his head, he said quietly, "You're not a real unicorn are you." The only answer was a gasp as the faery woman's, currently fuzzy, chin dropped and her eyes widened in shock. Who was this man who not only sensed her presence, but that she wasn't who she appeared to be? He turned toward her, reaching out an inviting hand and an even more inviting smile. Darkness had begun to fall so she allowed herself to slip back into her human form -- her beautiful, young human form -- and slip her hand softly into his. There was a rush of energy as they touched and, beneath the splendor of the rising moon, they kissed for the first time.

They kissed many more times that night, among other things I can not mention without having to tag this blog as unsuitable for minors, and as the first rays of the sun began to break across the horizon, he whispered softly in her ear, "I know who you are, and I release you." Her mind reeled as she was overcome at this, for this is the only way a Corrigan may become, and remain, young and beautiful -- A human man who loves her enough to allow her to be who she is. A joy she had not known washed over her, coupled with the certain knowledge that a miracle had been conceived within her.

My'riad returned with him to his cottage in the woods where they lived happily together for some time, and her belly continued to swell. One evening, though, her husband did not return from his hunt. Her concern grew and she set out in search of him, again taking the unicorn's shape, as four legs could carry her more swiftly than two. Oh! If only she had had six, perhaps she would have arrived in time! As it was she happened upon the scene to see her lover freshly fallen to the earth, an arrow protruding from his chest.

The anguish that issued from her throat was unearthly, and some say it froze her beloved's slayer in his tracks, even as he attempted to flee. Literally froze his heart in his chest. His life ended by she who would have earlier been his prey, for he was the previously mentioned man making good his threat against her husband. Then shifting instantly back to human form she cradled her love's head in her hands, caressing his hair with her fingers and bathing his face with her tears. One last kiss on his cold lips was all she could bear and she had to go. Just get away, as far and as fast as her four legs would carry her!

In another part of the forest, a hunter heard a creature crashing through the forest and moved to intercept it, to see what manner of beast could make such an ungodly wailing, and to put this beast out of its misery. And so it happened that for the second time, My'riad came face to face with a nocked arrow intended to take her life.

"Please, my Lady, do with me what you will, but pray do not harm my babe!" A soft growl rose from My'riad's throat.

With this a smile flickered at the corner of the hunter's mouth and she slowly lowered her bow. "You're not a real unicorn are you."

"No my Lady," My'riad replied with a bow as she shimmered back to her true form, at which time her pregnancy became blatantly clear.

"Fear not precious one. You and your babe are safe now, for you are under my protection."

My'riad, having pushed herself to her already emotionally strained limits, nearly passed out, but her tears turned from grief to relief for she knew that the Huntress Goddess before her was also the Goddess of Childbirth. And so, whether because she was Fae, or because the Goddess of Midwives personally delivered her baby, she had the easiest of labors and was soon holding a beautiful boy child to her breast.

"I know this one," Artemis whispered, gathering the supple deer hide back around a tiny wiggling leg that had escaped the bundle, held by the new mother. "And so do you," She added, looking My'riad in the eye. My'riad balked, then began to cry, for in her babe she recognized the essence of her slain husband.

"And this one," continued the Goddess, wrinkling Her nose and winking at the child, "remembers me, don't you my little wolf?" The baby laughed and waved his arms. "How would you know my son, M'Lady?" "He lived a lifetime, long ago, as one of my children in a forest far from here. A place called Sherwood. And before that he spent time as one of my beloved beasts, the wildest, yet gentlest of creatures -- whose form, by no accident, is one that you know well." She smiled again as She traced a spiral, ever so gently, upon My'riad's forehead.

"Now, Daughter, there is some unfortunate business to attend to." My'riad's heart sank into her stomach. Hadn't she been through enough? "Because your child's blood is partly mortal, he can not be raised among the Fair Folk. His path leads into 'Man's World', where he will be challenged, true, but he will thrive, I promise you. He will bring to human minds and hearts a joy and whimsy born of his faery blood, and a hope they can not understand, yet will they be drawn to it like moths to the flame."

"And fear not for I will watch over him, instilling his heart with a love of the wild and a taste of the Faery Realm, that he may find his way back to his origins. And find his way back he will, for he is now my adopted son. He will be able to track and read the signs."

"What signs?" Demanded My'riad, "I will not give up my only son, even to you, without reason!"

"Calm yourself Daughter. I know of a family whose heritage is very spiritual, overflowing with holy men and women, through the monasteries and churches of Eire..." "Catholics?!" My'riad interrupted, showing her disdain by almost gagging on the word. Artemis continued unfazed, "And their surname is 'Corrigan'. He will gain enough experience and knowledge in his youth to maintain a solid footing in mystical matters, enabling him to make the leap from religion to spirituality. His name will be his first clue as to his true origin, and he will spend his life endeavoring to find that truth."

The Goddess of the Wild smiled pridefully as only a god, who knows of things to be, could.

"Oh yes. He will return."